You Were Made Out of Love

In the past three years, I've lost three people I've loved to suicide: A teen from a worship band I used to lead, a teen from my church's youth group, and my childhood best friend of fifteen plus years. I cannot fathom the depths of loneliness and despair they must have felt in order to even consider taking their own life. It breaks my heart and brings me to tears to think that they may have doubted their own worth in the eyes of God and those who have loved them.  


I learned of my best friend death while I was walking out of the EWTN studio doors. It was like my heart sunk down to my stomach. My brain just couldn't process the loss, and it is still having a hard time realizing he is gone from this Earth. The vibrant, goofy, compassionate, and ridiculously talented musician that I had so many childhood and teenage memories with was not here anymore, and there was a part of me that felt guilty for not having stayed in touch better throughout college and our young adult years. What if I had called him more? What if I had invited him back to church more often? What if I had prayed more rosaries for his conversion? The list of "What if's" goes on and on and is merely a departure from the reality of what is. Yet even in the midst of this seemingly hopeless event, God's eternal and unrelenting love of my best friend was made known. That night, retiring to the little apartment EWTN was letting me stay at, I walked up the stairs to the upper floor where Fr. Mitch Pacwa lives. He had offered me a drink the night before upon my arrival to the station, but it was late at night and I had decided to decline. I knocked on his door and asked him "You still up for that drink?" I could see the kindness in his eyes as he welcomed me into his home (filled with beautiful Bambi's nailed to the wall staring at me...) as we sat down with our beers and chatted about everything from hunting to Marian Apparitions, I told him about the death of my best friend. He graciously asked if I would like to come up to his house early the next morning and join him in a private mass said for the intention of my friend. Of course, I agreed, and the next morning he celebrated a gorgeous mass in a small bedroom chapel, surrounded by holy orthodox style images of Jesus and the early followers of The Way. I can't help but think and hope that God, in his infinite wisdom, who is outside of the bounds of time, used the power of that mass offered by Fr. Mitch to save my best friend from the despair and hopelessness that had caused him to take his own life and that he was now journeying towards Heaven, no matter how long it may take him to get there. The Divine Mercy of Jesus knows no bounds. I now pray and hope that maybe someday I may join him in the heavenly band singing "Holy Holy Holy, Lord God of Hosts". Please pray with me for his soul and for the peace of his family amidst this terrible tragedy.  

This whole event has convicted me of this: 

"God is love" (1 Jn 4:8.) and we are told in Genesis "God looked at everything He had made, and found it very good". (Gen 1:31.) 

"Everything", in case you didn't know includes you and I. From the moment of conception, you and I were created by Love, for Love, to be loved for all of eternity. The answer to life is as simple as that: You were made out of love to share in love with our Creator who is perfect Love Himself.  

I want to share that truth to as few or as many as the Lord desires through song. I wrote a song about a year ago called "Out of Love", having no idea of the events that would transpire with my best friend and the struggles He faced. I would like to share it with you, but to also ask for help in sharing these lyrics with the world: 

It's 3 AM, It's really time I get some sleep 

But I can't close my eyes 

The sun's asleep, beneath these dreaming pines 

Why am I alive? 

The Answer I've been seeking... 

Turns out, Its seeking me 

You want me, you want me more than this question I have 

You made me, You made me out of love, and purely that 

I'm wide awake, just starin' at the stars 

They whisper who You are 

The Maker of the heavens 

Is staring back at me 

I feel You loving me 

And You want me, You want me more than this wonder I feel 

You made me, You made me out of love and purely that 

I AM, You are the reason I'm alive 

You're the reason that my heart keeps beating 

I AM, You are the Maker of the skies 

You're the reason that my lungs keep breathing 

I'm Yours 

Over the next month I am going to begin the process of recording this song, and making it available to the public, in hope that even one person may know their own inestimable worth in the eyes of God through hearing this song. As a youth minister and father of three beautiful children now, the financial struggle is real... And I really don't make much money at this point on the sale of my original songs, yet I know this song must be heard. Please consider donating to my music ministry today. Every song takes hours and hours of time just to write.... The recording and releasing process is another whole ball game. The writing and releasing of just one song can take upwards of forty hours, and then the marketing of it can take endless hours! Please consider supporting this ministry I have felt called by the Holy Spirit to do, and hopefully through the songs I feel led to write, God in His infinite love will bring His people lost in Egypt back to Himself. God bless you, and please reach out to a friend that may be having a rough time right now. Click on my "Home" page and click the "Donate" button if you feel led to help me get these songs out to the world!


May God who is Love Himself bless you today! - Cody

Ready Your Hearts  

A few years back I recorded a tune titled "Adventus" based on my experiences of Medjugorje, an alleged site of apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Bosnia-Herzegovina.

Growing up, my mother used to tell me about the six visionaries that began to see the Virgin Mary in their teens and the phenomenon associated with the Apparitions: miraculous healings, monthly messages from Mary, the mother of Jesus, and the prophecies of the ten secrets associated with the fulfillment of the visions. As I grew into a young man, the memory of those stories were guarded in a remote cupboard of my mind. As a young adult, I rediscovered the apparitions through books in the local adoration chapel. It was then that I felt drawn, as if nudged by Our Lady herself, to go see the place I had been reading about. In June of 2015 I boarded a plane with a group of pilgrims of various ages. backgrounds, and life experiences and left the humid and bustling New Orleans Airport to journey to the peaceful town Medjugorje, which has a California-like climate. Little did I know of the miracles that awaited me.

 Immediately upon arriving in the mountainous village, to my surprise, the place felt like home interiorly... It was akin to the small town of Waveland, where I grew up and now reside: the people were laid back and very friendly, and they enjoyed their glasses of wine, pizza, and cigarettes... For some reason it just resonated with my heart like a good-ole southern Mississippi or Louisiana town does. 

 Although I felt at home, and already believed something was truly happening in this place, what happened to me on day 3 of our trip was and incredible confirmation for the authenticity of the Apparitions for me. I witnessed four events that were most certainly miraculous and unexplainable: 

1.) Upon visiting an orphanage in a small village on the outskirts of Medjugorje, while we were praying the rosary with one of the visionaries, a young woman (she was not from our group) began to yell, writhe, and scream on the ground... to me she sounded like a huge dog with rabies! This was no epileptic fit or spasm. The sound that came out of the young woman was nothing other than demonic. The visionary had warned us not to worry if someone started manifesting strange phenomenon because apparently this sort of thing happens often over there! Our priest and spiritual advisor later explained to us that sometimes in the presence of such holiness (Our Lady) if there are demonic oppressions or possessions, they can be agitated by the power of God and become manifest through screaming, writhing, unearthly sounds, etc... This experience shook me to the core, as I had never been in such close proximity to something so spiritually evil and frightening as this. One thing I should mention, is that during the experience of the screaming, a profound peace was felt by those of us who were continuing to pray the rosary.

2.) I experienced resting in the Spirit: Shortly after the episode I mentioned previously, our group had a prayer service in the Catholic church next door preceded by the Holy Mass. At the prayer service, the priest laid hands on us and prayed for us individually in the power of the Holy Spirit. I number of folks from our group went up to get prayed over before me, and many charismatic gifts were bestowed upon them in those moments such as laughing in the Spirit, and resting in the Spirit. I nervously headed up the aisle to get prayed over, and I remember praying to God in my heart a prayer like this: "Lord, if you want me to rest in Your presence, I am open to it, and I would love to experience that peace"." When the priest started to pray for me he asked for an intention, and I immediately replied "To be free". I had come to Medjugorje with several burdens on my heart, namely I wanted to be healed from my chronic anxiety problem which had already taken some of the best years of my life away from me. As soon as I said my petition, the priest looked at me in the eyes and simply said ,"Then be free", and I fell backwards like a big pine tree that had been cut through with a chainsaw! I laid on the ground in a profound sense of peace for about a minute! I remember it was so comfortable and lovely just to be in the present moment without the pain of chronic anxiety. When I felt it was time to get up, I tried to lift myself off the ground, but it was as if there were literally a huge magnet holding me down! I think the Holy Spirit was saying "Stay with Me a little longer, Cody". When I finally got up, I felt so refreshed... almost in a spiritual daze. I was astounded! I will always remember that  moment of being touched by God and loved by Him in such an intimate and personal way.

3.) I witnessed "The Miracle of the Sun". Many pilgrims have reported that they have seen the sun spinning or dancing in the sky at times in Medjugorje. I was so blessed to see it for myself. Upon walking down what is commonly referred to as "Apparition Hill" at about six thirty PM me and the group of young adults I was with stopped in our tracks, and several people shouted "Look at the sky!" To my amazement our whole group witnessed the sun spinning and emanating different vivid colors for about thirty minutes! We could stare directly at the sun, which was a miracle itself considering that the sunset in Medjugorje in the summer isn't usually until nine-thirty or ten PM. After that event, I had no doubt that something supernatural truly was happening there in the small town of Medjugorje.


4.) Last but not least, I witnessed the ongoing miracle of the Risen Christ Statue: Behind the parish of St. James there is a metallic statue of the Risen Christ standing up with the cross laying on the ground. Thousands of pilgrims have witnessed the knee of the statue chronically "weeping". I felt the water appear with my fingers, and the guide assured us that multiple studies had been done on the statue by scientists to see if there was a natural explanation, yet nothing could be found: no underground pipes or condensation! 


Even though the miraculous was witnessed, it didn't take away from the humble joys, laughter, and fellowship of our group throughout the trip. One of the funny highlights was singing a parody of "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks that we wrote for the young priest who was journeying with us. We changed the title to "I've Got Friends in Holy Places"! We laughed along with the visionary Mirjana as she cracked up at our group of goofy Americans! I will never forget my trip to Medjugorje, and the healing that took place through it.

I encourage anyone who reads this to learn more about Medjugorje and its implications for the world. . If the Apparitions are true ( Which I believe they are, but submit to whatever the Church rules ), in most of our lifetimes a great series of events will unfold upon the world: The 10 Secrets. The purpose of the Secrets is to wake humanity up to it's great sinfulness and help it to embrace the Divine Mercy of Jesus Christ. Mother Angelica stated in an interview on EWTN that the state of the world is worse now than it was in the times of Noah and the great flood of the Old Testament. At the approved apparitions of Fatima, Mary told one of the seers that the sins that were causing the most people to separate themselves from God in that time were the sins of impurity of the flesh. If these sins were prevalent in 1917, how much more are they enslaving the world today! With the widespread acceptance of pornography, masturbation, fornication, and homosexuality (Yes, despite what some may have told you, these are all considered mortal sins if the three conditions for mortal sin are met: premeditation, knowledge that the sin is gravely wrong, and full consent of the will) dragging the world into the burning fires of Hell while still here on Earth, its no wonder the mother of God, who loves humanity so dearly and tenderly has been coming to earth for the last forty years in Medjugorje to urge us to pray, fast, and do penance. If you do not believe in God, I beg for you to come back to "The Way and the Truth and the Life." John 14:6  If you are reading this, and you consider yourself a OK Catholic, but you haven't been to confession in years, or perhaps you struggle with some or more of the sins above, that's OK; we all fall sometimes, but what makes us a true disciple, is getting back up and going to the sacrament of reconciliation, and then receiving Jesus in the Eucharist worthily. It is so sad to say that most "Catholics" receive the Maker of Heaven and Earth into themselves like He is just a ritz cracker, believing that He is just a nice symbol. Each Holy Mass we have the chance to consummate our mystical marriage between ourselves (The Church) and Jesus (The Bridegroom!). We must do so, having repented and wearing our "White wedding garment" Rev 3:4-5. So please, if you get nothing else from this lengthy post... Go to confession, and receive the love and mercy of Jesus! Ready your hearts!


 Some may fear the thought of major world events to "wake humanity up", but through prayer and trust in Our Lady, I have learned to look forward to the days when Jesus (Through Our Lady's Apparitions) will crush the head of Satan and grant to the world a period of peace as promised at Fatima. Ready your hearts!


May our prayer forever be "Jesus I Trust in You."


Here are the lyrics for my song "Adventus". 


Adventus – Cody Roth 

The oceans are rising 

The sun is dancing in the sky 

The nations are shaken 

By the sounds of gunfire 

Fall on your knees 

Ready your hearts 

For the kingdom’s coming soon 

A new day’s about to start 


I see a woman clothed in white 

I see a woman clothed in sunlight 

She labors to give birth 

To a royal child 

Ready your hearts 

To be reconciled 


Ready your hearts 

Ready your minds 

Fall on your knees 

Now is the time 

For all creation is groaning 

And labors to give birth 

To a new beginning 

To a reconciled earth